# Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
# Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are:
P[erfect]
Av[Awesome]
Tv[Totally Awesome Priority]
M[ajestic]
# Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
# Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
# Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
# Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
# Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.
# Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
# Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
# Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
# When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
# Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
# Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born
# Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once
# Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
# Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
# Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
# Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
# Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
# Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
# When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
# Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
# On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
# Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
# When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
# For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
# Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
# Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
# Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
# The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
# Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
# A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell
# Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
# Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues