Rayyan ~ we've never met, either in person or through my own offerings on this most personal of websites, but I've enjoyed your posts for years. Today, having finally just ordered an RX100, I immediately started looking for threads and posts about what to expect. I enjoyed your own on the Sony thread first of all, followed by those of many others. But then I migrated to Small Sensor Cameras and got what I definitely did NOT expect ~ the news of your recent life threatening crisis!
Your story, Rayan, is one of the most moving I have EVER read in a lifetime dedicated in no small part to reading! I am amazed. I still have tears. It's so profound ~ and that on so very many levels....
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have enriched my life.
I can hardly wait to share it with my wife, Ingrid, who is an RN who assists in just such heart surgery, and to find a way to share it with her surgeons, too. Your beautiful story will be wondered at and read again and again, I assure you!
Please express our admiration and thanksgiving to your colleagues and friends for all their skill and hard work and compassion, and please continue to do all that YOU can to keep your own heart sound, and healthy, and expressive ~ and open to the intake and expression of genuine love ~ remembering the children....remembering your inspiring soul mate....remembering that you, yourself, DO make a real difference!
And, for what it's worth, please know that there will be and are many prayers being made for you and your family and friends, including those from this inadequate orthodox christian in Montana.
Gratefully yours,
Thomas Turnbull
aka Irenaeus
Thomas, after reading your post, I find myself at a loss for words...not happens that often according to my wife!
Two things, though, my friend.
The first one...Our Lord's House...Your Lord and mine and everyone elses's...does not have reservation signs. It has many doors and all are welcome. The sign, if any, would read ' All are welcome. And all are equal '.
So Thomas, it is your prayers and those of others that made it easy for me. Thank you so so very much.
The second thought, I have. Let me weave a story, cheesy maybe, around it.
Bob, the anaesthesia consultant and a family friend from NH, looked at me in the OR, held my hand, smiled and said..Rayyan you shall just feel a pinch.
I felt the pinch. The OR was cold. A tunnel without directions. Dark, cold, unwelcoming. I am hurtling through it. I am scared. Real scared. I want to hold on to something but find a grasp. Falling. Weird shapes, colors from darkness surround me. I am afraid of death. This is the end. Strange patterns, I have never encountered before flash before my eyes. Fire. Flames. Evil visions. Pessimism. Are these my thoughts that I never had? Breathing is difficult, Darkness. I cry. Who shall hear me in this darkness. I need help. I need someone to help this feeble soul. I fall faster. Fall? But there is no down.
Sounds, voices...distorted, incoherent, frightening. I need help. No help in the darkest recesses of this pit of despair with no hope.
Then...a sound. I must be nearing the end. A sound. Not like the others. Soft, but reassuring. Soft but masking all others..
' Are you the traveler? ' a question, but I feel the answer is already known by the Voice.
' Yes ', clinging to hope. Praying for deliverance, help, comfort.
' Who comes with you to help you through this journey. Who shall guide you through this darkness? What help do you have with you Rayyan? '
Without hesitation, I remember replying..' You, my Lord '.
The rest is history...happened 2 weeks ago.
Take care, stay well.
