I read you "rant". The photos are great, of course, and what you write makes perfect sense. Still, I'm left with this feeling of "Yes, and so what?". People have different attitudes, different experiences and enjoy different aspects of photography. Although I shoot more digital than film, sometimes much more, I still enjoy film a lot. It's not particularly useful, but the whole process makes me feel good. Choosing a film type and an ISO value and stick with that for a day, working within those limitations. Does it make me a better photographer? Maybe, maybe not, but that's besides the point. I enjoy using film and using those cameras designed a while ago. Some others do too. For some, it's religion and like in many other religions, there are those who think they are the chosen ones, the missionaries. So let them. Film photography is one of those religions that don't do much damage to this world. I wish most human behaviours were as peaceful and non-damaging as film photography. Alas, humanity doesn't seem to be created that way.
As for the coolness factor, yes, it's there. Changing films in an iPhone crowd really does attract attention. I'm sure it can be a girlie magnet too, if there's a need for that
