(OT and Long) MF: death and a return to "the moment" for me

[Shelby Lewis]

Obviously so many here have a different background or working career that photography is there passion which i find very very refreshing and maybe why i enjoy teaching it so much is you folks are like sponges that soak this all up in heaping spoonfuls. From me that is such a joy to see but from me it is my life and it is a daily growing event and i learn as well from all of you. I guess to maybe summarize what I feel for folks like Shelby is don't ever lose the passion. You just don't know how rewarding that is to oneself and to your personal being. From someone that does this by the minute it is so very refreshing to see and i get my joy from watching all of you folks. Honestly in all truth as co owner of this forum maybe one of the smartest moves I made was help create this place. This is my joy right here because i get to share my lifelong career.

Guy, this is what makes this place different... the fact that you and Jack get such pleasure in seeing everyone else's passion and growth. The fact that you guys, and many others here, have hearts for sharing says a ton. I know that since I've been off the face of the earth for the last three months... this is the one place I would occasionally check up on. It took awhile to get me legs back under me and find the energy to come back... but this is THE place I've looked forward to, even if only for the camaraderie (although in reality it's for so much more).

What's wild is that I STILL don't own a back, and I feel like it's perfectly fine to interject here, lol.

Guy, I'm just glad that YOU haven't lost the passion. THAT would be sad, my friend.

 

[Shelby Lewis]

Hi Shelby. Truly sorry to hear of your loss, as I can relate.

I lost my Father at the end of last summer after a long and horrible illness. My father was a Detroit Firefighter, and to pick up a shadow of man in my arms who once carried people out of burning buildings, so we could change his paddings, is both a humbling and revealing experience.

Throughout an ever changing life, the thread of creative continuity binds the years together. Your experience has led you to a new chapter to explore, as has mine. Go with it, and try not to over think it ... just absorb it as a renewal. It is a very human reaction to renew when something else you loved comes to an end.

Be well,

-Marc

Thanks Marc... and my belated condolences to you as well. I never thought the loss of a parent could be so debilitating for such a long time. Boy, was I wrong. It's still and everyday tragedy at this point, but time is beginning to heal the wounds, thank goodness.

Renewal it is... and I am certainly ready for it. Damned the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!



My best,
Shelby

 

[Shelby Lewis]

I know this seems strange, but I've had someone pm me and actually want to see a pic of mom from later times... as an illustration as to how a photo can sometimes illuminate the pain someone might be feeling even though we never noticed it in real life.

I find this to be a really meaningful request... and thought I'd post a photo of mom... about a month before her death. Physically, she was already having some troubles with several things (none of them life threatening)... but what comes across most clearly to me is the strain behind the smile. The small child is my youngest son, and this was during his 4th birthday celebration. My mom completely idolized this child, and yet you can actually see her straining to appear happy.

I did not notice this at the time. It's hauntingly mundane photo... but I find it illuminates the point that the camera doesn't lie. On the other side, it's meaningful to me as it paints a true picture of what mental illness can do to the soul. As you can imagine, mental illness awareness and suicide prevention are now causes I champion whole-heartedly. I have a photo project in the works already dealing with bipolar and suicide...

Mom... i believe November 4th, 2009. If this picture post is disturbing or seems out of line... someone please let me know and I'll pull it:

 

[vieri]

Welcome back Shelby! I am so sorry for your loss, I am familiar (as others here) with your mum's illness and I know how hard it can be both living with it and having to live without someone dear lost to it. You got great messages and wisdom from all the previous posters in this thread, so it's difficult for me to add something meaningful to all that has been said - let me just say that I am with you, and am glad to see you back!

 

[Geoff]

I did not notice this at the time. It's hauntingly mundane photo... but I find it illuminates the point that the camera doesn't lie. On the other side, it's meaningful to me as it paints a true picture of what mental illness can do to the soul. As you can imagine, mental illness awareness and suicide prevention are now causes I champion whole-heartedly. I have a photo project in the works already dealing with bipolar and suicide...

Not mundane at all.It is revealing, and thus meaningful. We all see moments when we shoot - sometimes of people, and sometimes we are not quite sure what we saw. Photography gives us the chance to reflect, to consider and reconsider what the eye caught but might have otherwise been missed.

While perhaps too close to look at now, it remains a good photo. Thank you for sharing.