I think that by not being willing to "deal" with the logistics of serving you as a customer that makes them, by definition, not a "dealer".
I just don't understand dealers who give poor customer service. How do they stay in business??
They stay in business because of the old model where consumers cannot buy their goods directly from the producers. In this day and age, customers and producers in many different fields would be much better served if we could just buy things directly. Most dealers are an impediment to the transaction between customer and producer -- they offer very little help or information that is not immediately available from the manufacturers website (often much less in fact), and more often then not they do not stock the product so they have to order from the factory anyway. I bet if the consumer could just buy it direct from the factory at the dealer's cost, 98% of people would buy that way. They are in touch directly with the people who make the product, and it is given to them for the best possible price since there is no middleman. These days with express shipping, the internet and modern communications, the model using large dealers and distributors is an anachronism. I am not saying it should be completely dismantled, but I think customers should get what they pay for -- added service, access to in-stock items, and experienced help. If they don't get that, why can't they just buy it direct?
The exceptions to this are people like you and the other boutique dealers who actually are very knowledgeable, helpful and willing to stock important items. Most just want to charge you for the product they bought for half the price and then move on to the next sale.